My mom used to have a little picture hanging on her wall that said “If it is to be it is up to me.” I irrationally didn’t like the saying. Maybe I didn’t like it because it is completely true and it puts a lot of responsibility on me to make my own happiness or develop and reach my own goals.
It is often more comfortable to believe that our lives are mostly out of our control. You might say “but I have this illness” or “it is the only job I can get and I need money to live” or “it takes two for a successful relationship” and this talk makes it easy to abdicate responsibility.
Although there are conditions out of our control, we mostly do have say in our lives. We may have to live within constraints not of our choosing (e.g. having to be a caretaker for sick parent or a physical illness with which to contend or significant other who thinks it is ok to cheat) but we do have control of how we respond to circumstances and what we do within the restrictions of our life. It is easy to think that if your partner could be a little more understanding or you could make just a little more money or if you could just have a more understanding boss that everything would be fine. Often individuals wait for someone to save them or make everything better or a circumstance to change before they “go for it.” What are you waiting for? If you aren’t where you want to be or if you are waiting for some specific circumstance to change – stop. Make a plan, take a step – no matter how small and start to take responsibility for what you want out of life.
If it is to be – it is up to you to make it so.