I am one of those individuals who just do not like it when people say “I have no regrets.” 

I get it.  I do.  People are saying they learned from every mistake or ridiculous thing they’ve done.  They are saying they like who they are now and understand that it is all part of the journey and their past is what makes them who they are today.

I just look at it different.  It seems to me that people should have regrets.  I think having regrets means you actually are alive and did things.  You chose to love or take a chance or do that really stupid thing that has become friend and family folklore of your youth. 
To me having regrets means you learn.  You are able to see times you could have loved a bit more or been a bit more compassionate or a bit safer. 



It seems like if you have no regrets that you’ve missed something.  To me, no regrets mean that with the knowledge I have now I would make all the same decisions (read as mistakes or slight errors of judgment) as I did before.  If I don’t regret something why wouldn’t I do it again?



Instead of saying “I have no regrets”, I want to say “I have regrets and I know so much more now.  I am who I am because of the regrets I have.”
I want to own my regrets.


photo by federico stevanin



Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. – Arthur Miller

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