I’ve been reading through many of the comment posts on articles regarding Robin William’s death. Most of the comments are supportive and understanding but as whenever the possibility of suicide is mentioned; there are also the cruel comments. Comments about selfishness and being self-centered and comments about if the person had just practiced their faith in God more than everything would have been fine. Those type of comments discourage others from seeking help or hanging in there the extra moments they might need to regroup and go on. It is just another message to someone suffering from depression or who is in such pain can read and say “yep – there is something so wrong with me – I can’t do this anymore.”
I know there are always those trolling comments but to read these are so disheartening. Generally – people do not want to die – even those who take their own lives. People want to not be in pain. I believe, that when someone commits suicide there is a moment, a moment when pain is so great and hope so missing that there really doesn’t seem like there are any other options. Even if you know intellectually that you have people in your life that love you and will deeply feel your loss that your emotions just don’t feel it. Suicide is not about weakness. It is about being strong for so very long and having a moment when it is too much.
If you are someone who would lean toward the “I just don’t understand suicide – It is so selfish” belief. I encourage you to take a step back and feel gratitude that you have never been in that moment. Feel grateful that you have never felt such pain, loneliness or loss of hope that getting through to the next moment feels insurmountable. Learn about depression. Learn that it is not just about being sad or having a bad day. Share the information you learn and be available to those who may need the support.
If you are someone in that pain – please hang on. Sometimes just getting to the next moment doesn’t make everything magically better but sometimes just enough hope comes back that you can keep going and even get the help you need. If you are this person contemplating suicide, consider letting your “everything is OK” facade down and ask someone to help you.