Happy Mother’s Day! We all will hear this repeatedly today (and have likely heard it non stop for the past week.) I honor all the mothers out there. There will never be anyone else in your life like your mother – something your children may not even understand till they are old and experienced in life. I like that we take a day to say “Hey – you should always remember this but make a special effort to tell mom she is awesome because you probably usually forget.” I love that we have a Mother’s Day. I honor mothers in whatever form they take. Mother’s Day also is my least favorite day of the year.
Yep, that is what I said. For all the I am on board with Mother’s Day I hate today. I am not a mother and I no longer have a mother with me on earth so the day becomes awkward at best. I am doubtful I am the only one who feels this way. Before my mother died I always had a purpose on Mother’s Day because even if my mom and I had shaky relations the rest of the year on Mother’s Day she could hear my explain how much I loved her, how much I appreciated her and how I wouldn’t trade her for any other mom in the universe. Now that she is gone – I get a day where I’m reminded over and over again that she isn’t physically with me any longer. Now to the other part.
It is a weird phenomenon on this day where if you do not have children you are not quite a real woman – especially if you are over thirty. It is a day that’s inadvertent side effect is to put down all non mothers as less than. The thing is generally most woman have their own journey with becoming or not becoming a mother. A woman may be struggling with infertility or waiting for an adoption or praying with all their being to be mother and it may just not be happening. A woman may choose not to be mother for all sorts of reasons. (Side note: I have been told multiple times – yes multiple times – that only selfish women choose not have children. I don’t know any way that would not be construed as insulting . Every time someone asked they are generally people who are kind and that I liked. Weird. It is almost like it is OK to be insulting to figure out what is wrong with me that I don’t have children. Just keep in mind there are many reasons people choose not to have children and very often selfishness is not one of them and if it is – yay for knowing themselves well enough to make healthy decisions!)
Today a childless woman gets to have the constant reminder that they are different from other women. A woman may have lost children or miscarried or chosen adoption or may have just not had a path that led to motherhood. I’m guess for a lot of these wom Any other day a person may be confident in their choice to not be a mother. Any other day a person may cope with their loss or grief in a personal way but not on Mother’s Day where they will be reminded again and again that they are not a mother.
On this day when we honor all mothers – do honor and appreciate them. Maybe keep in mind that this isn’t always a joyful day for everyone. Keep in mind that people mother in many ways – not just with their biological children and sometimes-they go unnoticed most of all because they aren’t a mainstream mother. We have the day because mothers do so very much and are so very under appreciated. Remember to honor all mothers on the their journeys. Honor your own mother, honor the new mothers who are just starting, honor the mothers who have been in the game awhile now. Honor the mothers who are driving their children to every single event and fundraising and working in their child’s classroom. Honor the mothers who are there for their children throughout their lifestyle and in their child’s corner like only a mother can.
Honor the mothers who feel inadequate or have struggled with motherhood. Honor the mothers whose children are unable to show their appreciation. Honor the mothers with no children. Honor the mothers who have lost children through miscarriage or death. Honor the mothers who are step and foster mothers. Honor the mothers who are unconventional and mother those who aren’t her own emotionally or spiritually.
Please honor mothers today while keeping in mind today isn’t joyful for everyone. I also will honor mothers today and at the same time try to bear with grace each time someone asks me if I am a mother today and I will just say thank-you each time someone wishes me Happy Mother’s Day.
Thank you all mothers in whatever form you take and Happy Mother’s Day!!!!